Trapped?

Can't leave the house because of the pain.
Don't wanna know what causes it,
because I am afraid for the consequences.

Even writing this sort-off hurts.
I want it to be over, but then again...
To be over I need to know what it is.
Of witch I'm afraid.

Dropping things because you don't have the strength in or control over your hands.
Stepping on things, tripping over things.
All because of [please fill in if you know it]